Acceptance

What does acceptance mean? While there are many different definitions of acceptance, personally I view it as learning to not resist things that we cannot control. We don’t let ourselves get caught up in things such as the past, or worry about the future. When bad things happen to us, we don’t go around spending time wishing that it didn’t happen. If someone treats us badly, we don’t let them ruin our day. 

“Doesn’t this make me a pushover, letting others take advantage of me?” you might ask. There is a difference between being a pushover and acceptance. For one, in acceptance, you do not condone the action that someone does that hurts you, but you don’t let that bother you more than the initial pain. You can let them know how you feel, but you also don’t have to give in to anyone else. 

The same can be said about life. When you are having a bad day or a bad event occurs, what do you do? Do you keep your head down the rest of the day? Do you spend all your time tensing up from worrying about any future problems you may encounter? Or do you choose to accept that there may be metaphorical bumps in the road you may hit along the way but don’t let it get to your head? By choosing to be mindful, you stay present and recognize that there is only one moment that you control at any given point in your day. That moment is now. The present moment is all that you can control. 

Choosing to be mindful of what is going on allows you to get rid of the negative thoughts that are weighing you down. When you choose to focus on things that you can control, instead of things that you cannot, your life will be that much easier. There will seem to be a weight lifted off of your shoulders. 

If you would like to read more or experience this for yourself, I recommend Sarah Blondin’s Learning to Surrender meditation on Insight Timer, or the course Mindfulness Daily, also on Insight Timer.

Impermanence

Impermanence is all around us. When you look all around you, you can see this in action. Impermanence is a basic idea, the idea that everything is constantly changing. 

“Everything is changing, but how does mindfulness have anything to do with that?” Well, it sure does. When you are having a rough day, it serves you well to know that the bad time will pass. When you are having a great time, mindfulness keeps you grounded in the present so that you do not go off a cliff thinking that everything is going to sunshine and roses all the time.

Mindfulness teaches us to slow down and acknowledge every moment. Every moment that passes is an opportunity to notice something new. Whether that be the sensation of the breath as you inhale or the key modulation that occurs as Mozart’s Turkish March plays in the background, there is always something to notice. With that in mind, it’s easier to keep things in perspective. Next time you catch yourself thinking that you wish things would change, remember, with time they will. 

The changing environment is something that is also seen in nature. When the year passes and the seasons change, the colors of the leaves change on trees. Animals migrate from one area of the world to another. (If you want to see this in action, tune into Headspace’s The Wake Up every Thursday and you can see some of the beauty in the natural world.) 

Gratitude

Finally, we get to gratitude, one of the most rewarding lessons and skills learned in mindfulness. Being grateful is more than simply being happy that there is delicious food for you to eat. (Although that is one of life’s greatest sources of enjoyment and pleasure if you pay attention to it.) Gratitude means recognizing the immense opportunities afforded to you, every single day.

Where do these great opportunities come from? These opportunities come from your everyday experience. When you hone in on that umami taste as the chopstick winds slowly around that peculiar, curvy ramen soaked in soup with mushrooms, that is gratitude for what you have to eat. When you notice the little guy running in the background of a music video that you never noticed previously, you feel grateful for your sense of sight. When you notice the theme that reemerges in the third movement of Dvorak’s Cello Concerto that appeared earlier in the first, you gain an appreciation for the musical prowess of both the performers and the composer. 

I try to start out every morning with a gratitude practice, writing three things that I am grateful for. It can be the simplest of things, such as the sleep that I had the night before, or it can be as complex as the existence of up and down quarks that run our universe. I try to be grateful for my everyday experiences by setting reminders to myself to pause and take in what is going on around me.